TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
New York teenagers, Mike Kushnir, 17, and an unnamed 15-year-old female friend, who were busted for graffiti after police matched the paint on a monument to their hands and skateboards.
Police stopped the pair just minutes after they spotted fresh spray paint on the 114-year-old Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Memorial Monument.
The paint dripping from their hands and skateboards was the same color as the lewd images drawn on the monument.
The teens quickly confessed and now face a variety of felony charges.
AND THEN THERE’S …..
31-year-old David J. Fries, of Manchester, New Hampshire, who faces additional charges after bragging to cops that he hit 185 m.p.h. during their high-speed chase.
Police were trying to pull Fries over for going 127 in a 55 on his motorcycle, but he fled the scene.
With police in chase, Fries later crashed his bike and touched off an hour-long foot chase.
He was eventually caught and subdued with help from a police dog.
During his arrest, Fries bragged about driving at 185 m.p.h. and now faces a variety of charges and is being held on $30,000 bail.
OR HOW ABOUT …..
Christina Jahnz, a Colorado woman who proved the dangers of texting while driving after she was impaled through her buttocks during an accident.
An embarrassed Jahnz told police she tried sending voice text in the parking lot of her child’s school.
However, in just a split second after the text was sent, she managed to crash into a guardrail pole down the road.
The pole went through the front of her truck, piercing her in the buttocks and continuing through the back of her seat.
Jahnz was rushed to a nearby hospital where she underwent emergency surgery.
She was released and is expected to make a complete recovery.
OKAY, ONE MORE …..
A Southwest Airlines flight attendant who allegedly refused to use an on-board automated external defibrillator (AED) on a passenger “because his chest is too hairy.”
Jack Jordan, 62, suffered a heart attack on the plane and died despite the CPR efforts of a nurse and physical therapist, who were also on the plane.
Jordan’s wife said a passenger pointed out the defibrillator to a female flight attendant, but she apparently refused to use it.
Southwest Airlines has disputed the version of events and says its flight attendants “did not deviate from the AED protocol due to any customer circumstances.”